Rather than looking around for someone or something else to blame, you must accept that you are in charge of what is going on. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. Whatever the case, knowing when, where, and why you refuse to take responsibility for your life and actions is an important step in addressing this issue. Husbands, buy this as a gift for your wife so that they know you better. No one can live your life for you. Your thoughts govern the success of your interpersonal interactions. They are able to make choices because they understand that they are responsible for their choices. People who take complete responsibility for their lives experience joy and control of circumstances. Put yourself in their place, if they did that to … Sometimes, we don’t even realize that we’re not taking responsibility for our actions because we’re not fully aware of what’s happening. By being responsible, you’re showing that you have respect for yourself and others. This means apologizing when you have done something wrong, or at least acknowledging why someone may be expecting an apology from you! When you fail to responsibly guide your direction and outcomes, you set the stage for creating a miserable life—a life that fulfills none of your dreams and aspirations. Once you know what you want in life, you can do things that bring you closer to that point. But accepting that the choice has already been made and cannot be unmade goes a long way in coming to terms with it. However, accepting responsibility for your choices can also be very empowering. Part of this is knowing when not to make firm commitments or promises that you know you will not be able to keep. Accepting Responsibility Taking responsibility can be embarrassing, humbling, painful, and even costly. You always make a difference. Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, words and actions. And this gives you the power to stop before you pull that verbal (or mental) trigger. One never fails or commits mistakes if they do nothing. Do you need to set a course and do things to grow in life? You are totally responsible for your life. Accept yourself for who you are and find ways to make yourself feel better along the way. You'll Get More Feedback if You Receive It With Grace and Dignity, Follow These 6 Steps to Accomplishing Your Life Goals and Resolutions. Responsibility, on the other hand, to me is something vastly more powerful, as well as empowering. I enjoy all and implement in my life to get better results. But it is important to recognize that you make the choice one way or another. When you deny responsibility for everything that you manifested in your life, you are denying yourself your own power to take … 4. In Part 2, we’re going to look at how one accepts responsibility for their actions and the rewards that can result from doing so. To thrive as an adult you need to take responsibility for your actions. Some choices are big. While it is important that you own up to these mistakes, it is equally as important to forgive yourself for them. The good news is that it also means celebrating yourself when you do something great. We’ve all heard various quotes about being responsible for your own happiness, and there is so much truth in this. Taking ownership and responsibility for your actions is an important part of healthy relationships. A big part of taking responsibility for your life is knowing what sort of life you wish to lead. Sure, it can feel quite scary and intimidating at first, but you’ll be amazed at how quickly your mindset and behavior shift. Instead, if you have done something, failed to do something, or are just drifting through life, your next action is all important. That means you can’t cancel dinner plans because you had a crumby day at work. Are You a Manager that Employees Want to Follow? And to avoid having to make excuses in the first place, think of ways that you can build contingency into your plans. And you have choices in front of you now. You can practice responsibility every day by thinking about your actions and responses and taking accountability for the consequences of your choices - good or bad. It’s important to remember that each small shirk of responsibility builds up and can cause problems later along the line. Susan Heathfield is an HR and management consultant with an MS degree. Move on. Be someone who is true to their word and whose promises mean something. How To Be Normal: 10 Highly Effective Tips, How To Empower Yourself: 16 Tips For Feeling Empowered, 19 Undeniable Signs You Need A Change In Life. Are You the Employee Coworkers Identify as Negative? Friends and family members tend to give a lot more slack than work associates do, but that doesn’t mean they’ll let you coast along forever. Avoiding accountability can make us feel frustrated and more than a little guilty. Its a liberating concept. Even people who adore … Eliminate blame, eliminate excuses. Every choice you make; every action you take—matters. No one wants to admit that there was a better option that they did not take. After over a year of traveling, she’s settled in paradise and spends her days wandering around barefoot, practicing yoga and exploring new ways to work on her wellbeing. Are you still passed over? Be a realist and only say that you’ll do something if you really want to or intend to do it. Part of the power of taking responsibility for your actions is that you silence the negative, unhelpful voice in your head. And, they tend to play themselves over and over again in your head. Everyone must take responsibility for their own actions, you must try to make it right, especially if you hurt someone by taking no responsibility. For many people, everything is someone else’s fault. Much like blaming other people, making excuses allows you to shirk responsibility for how a situation has turned out. It might help if you start writing things down. The responsibility is yours, and it starts with developing a belief or habit of mind that you, as an individual, are accountable for the quality and timeliness of an outcome, even when youre working with others. Positive thinking becomes a helpful habit. Your choices matter at work, too. As you know from Part 1, there are two kinds of responsibility: personal and indirect responsibility. By getting into better habits, you’ll form a better mindset. I like “Political action means taking on responsibility. … Are You Taking Responsibility or Placing Blame? Don’t make excuses or blame others for what you do. This builds long-lasting trust and sets you up for prolonged leadership success. Shifting the blame makes you feel shifty a lot of the time, right? Taking action is a crucial part of taking responsibility for situations. Ask what you need to do to earn a promotion. We are responsible for our thoughts and behaviour, whether deliberate or unintentional. ...Personal Responsibility Julie Torbert Gen 200 August 13, 2012 Ben McCollum Personal Responsibility Personal responsibility includes taking accountability for one’s actions, responsibilities, and goals that will improve performance and relationships in one’s life.Personal responsibility means that one is responsible for his or her actions … Secondly, it’s exhausting for you. Want to weigh a certain number of pounds? Every problem can be explained away with reasons why they can’t affect the situation or the outcome, especially at work where it is easy to find excuses because people are so closely intertwined—and every project has a chain of internal customers who are dependant on others in the chain. Taking Responsibility 101. Thus, taking action is part of both failing and correcting one’s … Constructive feedback from others can feel like a slap in the face, however well-intentioned it may be. Believe him. It is you. The most important step to taking responsibility for your life is to stop … No one likes to get in trouble, particularly kids. Sure, other people and factors have an influence, but you are responsible for your own actions and anything that happens within the boundaries of your control. “The power behind taking responsibility for your actions lies in putting an end to negative thought patterns. Sure, if something pressing comes up, you can explain to the other person why you are unable to do whatever it is you said you’d do. Do you need to apologize for not doing something? Your guide for taking responsibility for your action is awesome for everyone. Every failure has a scapegoat that they can use to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions—failure is never the result of the choices they made. In Part 1 of this series, we looked at the importance of accepting responsibility as well as the consequences that can result if we fail to do so. Are there areas of your life where you often resort to the blame, excuses, or moaning mentioned above? But these times should be few and far between and the reasons for them must be genuine and important. Then, eat and exercise like the person who would weigh that particular weight. Negative thoughts are overwhelming and they can take control of your mind for days. Don’t rely on adults to remind you when you’re supposed to be somewhere or what you’re supposed to bring. You’re not perfect and you will make mistakes. We often know when we’re pushing the blame onto someone else and it can leave us feeling pretty guilty and drained. But it for your son so that he understands his place in life. This includes events that 'happen to us', our actions and our results. In order to create a happy, healthy and successful life, you need to take responsibility. Think about it. Write down the part you played in it and consider, objectively, how well you did. Others are small. Indeed, even when events that are not under your control go awry, you can at the very least determine how you will react to the event. You can make an event a disaster or you can use it as an opportunity to learn and to grow. Stop blaming other people. Take responsibility for your own actions We are responsible for our actions – all of them. Spend your thought time planning your next successful venture. “Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality." The next time you catch yourself making an excuse, whether for the late project, the unmet goal, or the job you have chosen to work, gently remind yourself—no excuses. Stepping up and taking responsibility for what’s going on in your life is one of the most important things you will ever do – and one of the best. Appreciate what you have today, not what you sorrow over from yesterday, or are concerned about for tomorrow. Earl Nightingale’s apt summation of the power of your thoughts is one of the most significant statements ever made. Listen to yourself when … Are You Taking Responsibility or Placing Blame? For one, it gets boring very quickly! Each time you … By seeing these ideas written down, you’ll realize in your own safe space that you’ve got room to grow. Live every day as if what you do matters—because it does. Of course there are things that are out of your control, but there is a lot that is within your control too. Nor does it mean that you shouldnt involve others. They want to work with someone who is aware of their limitations as well as their strengths and who isn’t afraid to respond to others’ opinions and change things up if needed. If this sounds familiar, it’s time to get a new process in place. No human is infallible – we all make mistakes. Perhaps there are certain people with whom you cannot accept any blame because doing so makes you feel inferior or incompetent. You no longer dwell on what went wrong or focus on whom you are going to blame. Want to travel? Even people who adore you will get bored of you constantly blaming others for things that are within your control. It’s so easy to blame things on other people, or on the circumstances around you. That said, there are limits! You don’t waste time building roadblocks to your … Ask how you can be prepared for things to go awry. While reading it give me motivation and the responsibility for my own work. Colleagues, for example, don’t want to work alongside someone who cannot take constructive feedback. Wives, buy it as a gift your your husband. By seeing things you’ve observed about yourself, you’ll feel more comfortable accepting feedback and will learn to own your behavior. A responsible person makes mistakes, but when they do, they take responsibility … And, your thoughts matter, too. You know the drill. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Privacy Policy, How To Take Responsibility For Your Actions And Your Life, apologizing when you have done something wrong, Balancing Your Internal-External Locus Of Control: Finding The Sweet Spot, How To Stop Running Away From Your Problems And Face Them With Courageous Resolve, How To Stop Repeating The Same Mistakes Over And Over, How To Get Your Life Back On Track When The Wheels Have Come Off. To take responsibility for your … You’ll benefit so much from stepping up and owning your behavior and you’ll gain a lot of other people’s respect along the way. There’s lots to do. You are in charge. However, I’ve found that most women don’t have as much trouble taking responsibility for their actions; while men do just about anything to avoid taking responsibility. Look for a new job to continue to pursue your dream. 4 Ways To Take Accountability For Your Actions (And Why So Many Don't) Kathy Caprino Senior Contributor Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own. Essentially, this means acknowledging the role you play in your own life – the good bits and the bad bits. Sure, we may still feel bad for accepting that we’ve not done our best, but at least we have a level of awareness and want to work toward bettering ourselves. By accepting responsibility for the things you can control, you’ll feel more positive about your life in general. In order to be a success in college, you have to apply your life learned lessons to … Do you need to rectify a mistake? Interrupt that incessant tape that is playing in your mind and stop rehearsing that excuse-filled conversation. Once you do this, you’ll become more aware – more conscious – of when you are doing it. What situations are most likely to result in you running from your responsibilities? Sure, that can be hard to figure out at times, but it is a process that you should try to stick with and go through as many times as is necessary for you to form concrete and realistic aims for your life. You Can Increase Your Job Satisfaction and Combat Weary Feelings, Experience Job Interview Questions and Tips on How to Best Respond, Learn How to Create a Personal Vision Statement To Guide Your Life, who take complete responsibility for their lives, for a new job to continue to pursue your dream, Listen to yourself when you speak. In your conversation, do you. Buy it for your daughters so that they too will understand taking responsibility for their actions … Taking … Your thoughts are the headlights illuminating your path in the darkness. Identifying bad choices you have made is not an easy thing to do. When you spend your thinking time on success and goal accomplishment, instead of on making excuses, you free up the emotional space formerly inhabited by negativity. You need to take responsibility for each and every decision that you make in your … It can be easy to blame others when you forget … You matter. We all know how stressful life can get, and how quickly things can get a little bit… out of control! Personal responsibility to me means taking accountability for your own actions, Making a commitment and sticking to it. We’re not saying that you have to suddenly apologize for everything and constantly feel guilty and downtrodden! © Copyright A Conscious Rethink. Instead of bemoaning the traffic on your journey, just be honest and say that you didn’t leave enough time or factor in the rush hour jams. When you own what’s happening in your life, you can really start to shape your future. Excuses for failure, excuses about your choices in life, excuses about what you feel you have accomplished—and what you have not—fuel dysfunctional thinking and consequently, undesirable actions and behaviors. Taking action is pivotal in embracing your responsibilities to life. In fact, mistakes are lessons that make you a better person going forward – IF you learn from them. This cannot happen without power. This is the foundational principle you must embrace if you plan for happiness and success in your life and work. You need to externally own the consequences for the things you do and don’t do. Again, not everything is within your control, but where you do have control, you must be willing to take it. Identify and Live Your Personal Values for Success in Life and Work, Visionary Leadership Has 3 Characteristics You Want to Find and Follow, Surprising Examples of Lapses in Workplace Ethics, How to Answer the Interview Question "Describe a Problem at Your Last Job", 5 Things You Should Never Do When Leaving a Job. Want 5 Tips to Increase Your Productivity at Work? By acknowledging what you’re doing and how you’re behaving, you can start to shape your life for the better. That's the day we truly grow up.” - John C. Maxwell It means accepting that your own actions may have led you to the situation you’re in now, whether you like it or not. No matter how hard you try to blame others for the events of your life, each event is the result of choices you made and are making. Accountability is crucial to having a good relationship with people around you, as well as with yourself. That group work project that didn’t go to plan? Lucy is a travel and wellness writer currently based in Gili Air, a tiny Indonesian island. The power behind taking responsibility for your actions lies in putting an end to negative thought patterns. Until you accept responsibility for your actions or failures, it’ll be very difficult for you to develop self-respect … Your thoughts either criticize or support the accomplishment of your goals. Said Nightingale, “The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts." As the language suggests, it is a ‘response ability’: the ability to choose our response in … It is important to accept responsibility because that is the only way we can take our power back. If you can genuinely say that your contributions were faultless, well done. Your choices matter to you and create the life you live. This can really help improve your relationships at work, as well as with your family, friends, and partner. Do you hear yourself taking responsibility or placing blame? 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